Reflections from a coffee house window: Mentoring

Mentoring. It's one of those topics that I've been exploring for a while -- in reading, research, and research-lived-out -- (that is being a part of it). It's a topic that I'd like to continue to explore -- maybe by authoring a book or facilitating a workshop. That being said, these are just a few of my most recent thoughts that I was able to journal in a recent coffee house store front. It only begins to scratch the surface. Also, that being said, if you have challenges, questions, or what ifs -- send them back my way.

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There are two kinds of mentors: relational and observational.

Relational mentoring is the most commonly thought of in the formal sense when we talk of mentors. It is the chat-over-a-cup-of-coffee, embrace-confidence, and learn-sitting-at-the-feet-of kind of mentoring. It is the reflecting, sponge-absorbing, wisdom-giving relational encounter. Although this aspect can often be overlooked, there is great potential for this mentoring to be two-way. There is no expert and there is no such thing as "having arrived."

Observational mentoring is just like it sounds - learning and being inspired by observation. The way one carries their life, the qualities lived out, the words spoken...and the words never spoken ---can mentor others. It is possible to be a mentor and not even know it.

Within each of these categories, I can identify people - faces and names which have lived out these mentor-ships for me. And for that I am thankful.

The other thing with mentors is that although they may physically come and go with their presence in our lives -- once they've made an impact they are forever that mentor and have become a part of who we are and the person we are becoming.

With both relational and observational mentors there is an element of role modeling. There is something about the way the mentor is living out who they are, which serves as an inspiration. A quality we hope to learn and piece of the person we hope to be.

About six years ago, when I was at a place of searching that out, I came up with this diagram, or motto/logo of sorts. It was a representation of women in my life at the time, who whether they knew it or not (some did, some did not) had served as mentors. Represented here are those qualities lived out, for which I admired, looked on, and someday hope to have cultivated in my own life:

While none of those individuals are in my life on a daily basis, the basic principle still holds true for me: these are all still qualities for which those mentor-ships have stressed an importance and for which I still strive to be living out.

Well, not to end in the middle of the conversation, but that's all I've got right now. :)

journaling: the great conversation

Once I heard a speaker, who was talking about the fact that so many ideas pass through our minds, often at the speed of a train, that you can hear them passing by so quickly. She encouraged us that you must write them down immediately and then pick the good ones to follow-up with and develop further. When I heard that, it just made sense. I mean in college I would always have scrap paper next to me when doing some reading to jot down those other tangents that came to mind, in effort to stay focused. Current day, I find great utility from post-its.

Along this line, I've been trying to be better about journaling and writing stuff down. Journaling is kind of like this great conversation...sometimes with God...sometimes with my soul...or sometimes with a friend. But, I've also found that often there are many ideas coming all at once. A friend once told me, "use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life," and recently, I came up with this system that hopefully will help keep me accountable:



It's only been a few weeks, but so far so good. The basic idea is that next to the related item, I will make an icon that will help me come back to it later or run with it now.

Idea - some invention, concept, or what if -- that I think would be a good idea, but most likely don't have the gifts, talents, and energy alone. This one is kind of a tuck away for a rainy day or for the day I meet the right business partner or someone with the needed talents and skills. Current needs are mostly related to engineering or video documenting.

Names - just beautiful names that I come across. It never hurts to have a good running list. :)

Questions - the what-ifs, and what-about-this - things of the world. Some may get around to being researched later. Others may be an on-going conversation with those that I encounter and with whom I ponder.

Dream and goals - the dream bigs and some days, philosophical endeavors, and the practical day to day goals. Really, it could probably be two sepearate categories, but let's just start here.

Writing topics - just some good topics for later writing and developing.

Just a starting place, but hopefully a good one for breaking down the complex into something simple. A notebook and comfortable pen are the only other essentials and it doesn't get much more simple than that. :)