And the survey says....

I recently asked folks for some suggested new hobbies or later career paths. Stay tuned for the result or plant your ideas here.

A happy heart turns the page

Ok, so I really don't intend to take you all on a page by page journey of my re-reading...but I've just completed Chapter Four and the conclusions were just so sweet that I have been reading them over and over and over....and have now decided to just put in the bookmark and marinate for a while.

"Getting honest with ourselves does not make us unacceptable to God. It does not distance us from God, but draws us to Him --as nothing else can -- and opens us anew to the flow of grace. While Jesus calls each of us to a more perfect life, we cannot achieve it on our own. To be alive is to be broken; to be broken is to stand in need of grace....The gospel of grace calls out: Nothing can ever seperate you from the love of God made visable in Christ Jesus our Lord. You must be convinced of this, trust it, and never forget to remember. Everything else will pass away, but the love of Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Faith will become vision, hope will become possession, but the love of Jesus Christ this is stronger than death endures forever." - Brennan Manning

Marinate with me. I hope it will make your heart as happy as mine. :)

If I have not Love...

"If I have not love, I am nothing." Those words have been in my mind the last few weeks.

A long time ago, I used to think that meant if I wasn't in a good mood about something or reaching out to others in true love, that I should stop, muster up all the love I could in me and than move on to complete the task.

Even now, the definition of what that statement actually means is a work in progress, but I somehow think that is not it.

Just one example, most recently I was touched by devastation on the other side of the world. I thought, 'no matter what I do, it is not enough and can never be enough.' But then I was reminded of the words of Helen Keller, "I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do the something I can do."

Although these words in part inspired me to action, the reality was it was more out of selfish motives and the feeling a need to do something. As the love quote rang in my head, I realized that even these actions although civic-dutiful and humanitarian....would be nothing with out love.

So I guess that is a piece of forming my working definition of that statement....stopping to empty myself of all apparent goodwill and negative things, too, and make room for a Love that is beyond what I could live out or accomplish without that strength of Christ. Making the impossible possible.

Since then, there is a less of a need to do. And more of a peace in being....still in action, but not of my own....and of course, still a work in progress.

Changing ways

I am changing my ways. Not even in the notion of a new year's resolution. Just changing my ways, in two things (for now)....

1. I used to be that person that only watched a movie once. Only read a book once. And that was it. The question, "what book or movie could you watch over and over again" always stumped me. I mean, why re-read it or watch it if you already know what is going to happen. Well, over the past few months I was reminded of the book The Ragamuffin Gospel. A dear friend, that I now sometimes refer to as my "life coach," gave it to me about four years ago in a stack of books to read during a season in which I needed it so much. Now that I think about it all of those books from that stack should probably be on my re-read list. Anyway for whatever reason, I was thinking lately of how good that book was (although not truly remembering the specifics of why or if it was just what I needed at that point). Today I found a copy in the used book store and took it and my cup of joe to those comfy green chairs and began to read. The first chapter was just what I needed for today, for that moment, and for this season now. And God so knew that. Even now, I am thankful for my life-coach that pulled me out of that season. I am thankful for the season I am in now, although I don't yet have a name for it. I am thankful for that book, and the opportunity to read it again and reflect. I left that comfy green chair, a changed person....with a lot more re-reading to do...anxious to see if the rest of the book is as good as I remember and speaks to me in the same way.

2. I recently set a rule for myself. I now vow to not set rules for myself. (Although if you think about it too long, that in and of itself is kind of a rule.) Because some rules are just made to be broken. I was trying so hard to limit myself to 2 books at a time, 'one for home and one for work,' I thought. But after my trip to that comfy green chair today, I was reminded that some things are more important than non-sense rules we set for ourselves. So I broke the boundaries, cracked open the book, and am continuing to read on it...while I still have 3 others that I am dabbling in as well....and life still goes on.

The theme of the week

This week the topic of new year's resolutions has been the buzz. My normal cop-out is to not go that route. I mean... people set these big goals and a few weeks later are disappointed because their own self will is not strong enough. Well, while that is still my answer I do think it is worth taking some time to stop and reflect, which I do plan to do in the month and year ahead. Hopefully, being intentional about it too.

But in the mean time, I was going through some old papers and found a four page list I had made three and a half years ago of goals for my personal and professional life. Yep, four pages :) It was a good reflection to see where God has brought me and what He has taken me through. It was also good for me to remember the short few sentence goal that the pages and pages were based on, and for me to think about those goals on the page that need some dust blown off and revisited and energized. While it is not the full extended version, in the spirit of new year's resolutions, below in no certain order is my constant list of things to work on... some from a few years ago that I am still working on and some new additions.

"Remain in constant relationship with God in order to share the love of Christ in me to others, while developing and learning, truly engaging in life, and becoming a better steward of the life I was given." - 2006

1. Be healthy.
2. Connect with 1 person each day, really connect.
3. Just be with God, spend time reading, and in quiet.
4. Have love...be real and accountable with daily compassion, trust God second by second.
5. Not let goals become my god.
6. Develop a genuine desire to publish.
7. Listen, not judge. Empower and support.
8. Have faith that God is somehow using now to make me into the person He wants me to be.
9. Research other professions: Consulting, Bed and Breakfast, Coffee Shop, and others.
10. Identify my gifts.
11. Start each new day with Psalms 19:14....end each day reflecting on the failings and celebrations of that goal, and start again new in the morning.
12. Get a passport and plan to use it.

The complete list, as promised...

In effort to keep it to a list of ten, had to combine a few. Yet there is so much more.

* = a potential blog topic later...some really funny stories. :) I may have some problems prioritizing which to start with, so let me know where your curiosity lies.

10. Staring new family traditions...like, new recipes and sharing the stories about where they come from...like, going to the best Children's Museum in the world....like, making up games such as "Hey..."* and "Grocery-Stockmarket-Bingo"*...and the amazment of little kids being able to play for hours and hours...such imagination.

9. Seeing all the grandparents and such at the Children's Christmas pageant eagerly taking photos of their angels and shepperds. If I would have thought, I would have taken a picture of the grandparent paparazzi. That is a frame that is forever in my mind...how sweet the love they have for their cuties.

8. Looking forward to starting my book-club-blog in the new year. Even more excited for my friends across the country to meet each other through the book club. The first read will be "A Lineage of Grace."

7. Realizing and letting go of my need to clean my place before I travel. A full dishwasher and smelly trash may be just as welcoming as the opposite that has always been my preference. ...ok, I could not let go 100% had to empty the dishwasher and use up the leftovers in the fridge...made a pretty stellar baked potato soup. ...Being able to break out the vaccum cleaner upon my return.

6. The feeling of the empty streets on Thanksgiving...always reminds me of driving to my grandparents house fifteen minutes away in the country for Christmas or Thanksgiving, depending on the year.

5.5 The beauty of free choice. Someone once said it is not the right vs. wrong decisions that are tough, but the right vs. right. So true!!! ...If I decide to take an alternate flight and gain $200 it is fine. If I decide to stay on the same flight and not risk getting stuck in a snowy city it is fine. If I decide to drive home through storm, He will be with me. If I decide to stop and make it home in the morning, He will be with me.

5. Being able to hold a 6 day old baby. And chat with her 3 year old brother about how cool she is.

4. A peaceful flight out, where I could finally start my latest read, "Amish Peace: Simple Wisdom for a Complicated World" and some great discussions with my seat buddy on the topic. Some great Amish Proverbs, too.*

3. The love my 94 year old grandparents have for each other and God. So much wisdom. So beautiful. Spending a day with them was not enough.

2. Hearing things again as the first time...Mary's words in Luke 1:38... And "abide" in that one Christmas carol, really struck me this year. Definition of abide=to stand fast, remain, go on being, reside, await, submit, carry out, continuing without change, enduring, lasting.

1. Inviting the story of Christmas into my heart and letting it dwell for real, and hopefully overflow. And a rested start to the new year. :)